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Parent Depreciation Day

A friend of mine did a spoof on Pastor Appreciation Day, renaming it, “Pastor Depreciation Day.” She is a pastor’s wife of a small congregation. Apparently she’s having some difficulties in her church. I’m taking it and changing it to “Parent Depreciation Day.” Enjoy.

Here’s how to show your parents you really care and want to uphold the “Honor your Parents” command in Ephesians 6:1.

1) Make sure you let them know how disappointed you are in them. What do they think they are anyway,  human beings?? You don’t even have to use your words, just be disloyal.

2) Tell everyone what a rotten job they did as parents – spread the depreciation around! Oh, and be sure to believe everything you’re told by disgruntled siblings. They could never be wrong!

3) Tell them they are doing a good job to their face and on the phone, act like you love them and tell them a lot that you know God put you in their family for a reason – and then call other siblings and complain about them – we wouldn’t want them to get too confident!

4) Don’t follow their advice. Who do they think they are anyway?

5) Find fault with everything they do and have done- from how they made decisions to how they raised you. Oh, and don’t forget to complain to anyone who will listen!

6) Call your other siblings and spread around the disrespect. You certainly wouldn’t want to be bitter alone! Make sure you only call the ones you can count on to agree with you.

7) Don’t ever support them in difficult situations. After all, they’re supposed to know everything, do everything right all the time and favor you above all the other kids. So if they do something you disagree with, make sure everyone knows.

8) Don’t ever let them know if you’ve lied, stirred up trouble, or said things you shouldn’t have. That’s between you and God.

9) Complain about how hard they were to live with, that they have stupid rules and demanded too much.  Talk to your neighbor, church friends, siblings, etc. Make sure everyone knows how you feel.

10) Don’t ever give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, they are suppose to be perfect and you should never accept anything less than perfection. After all, you’re perfect and they should be too!

11) And last, but not least, to “really” depreciate your parents, don’t ever pray for them. How could God use them anyway?

Of course, this is a spoof. If you want to APPRECIATE your parents… just do the opposites of these items and you will have a happy family connection – and you will probably feel a lot better too!


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